How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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mark lawson likes boys

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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