Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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