Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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170

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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So you there Red?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops