A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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