"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -159

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +110

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops