You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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20

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops