the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Where is my tractor?

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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