Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Justin Bieber

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops