Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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