Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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