knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops