What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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