What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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