What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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George Bush.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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boobs

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Fat people.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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