What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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