Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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So you there Red?

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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