What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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LIKE THIS!

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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