An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Gay Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops