Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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I drive a 'rarri

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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