-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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5 people are walking

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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