Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

my wife came out of the kitchen....

Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

People with cancer.

Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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