Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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lol a man is drowning

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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