- Anti Joke

Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

This one time at band camp music was played.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What is a chair?

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

its snowing on mount fuji

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

Morning wood.

What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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