what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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KOOKABURRA

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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25

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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