What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Wait what? I did not type that!

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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why did arno fly away? he was a bird

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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