What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Laugh

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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L's I's that took Viagra.

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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