What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

Bacon is delcious.

what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

Please? No.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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