?J?o?k?e?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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Politics

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops