Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Is J.P. dumb? Yes

So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

Safe sex MR

Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

KOOKABURRA

why does tyler not understand any jokes idk why don't you tell me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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