What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

GONNA

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

Guess what. Chicken butt.

Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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