How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

2 + 2 = fish

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

You will not press the like button.

A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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