Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the black man get into college? A mop.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops