- Anti Joke

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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