You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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