Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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hi patrick

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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