What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

whats good about poland... fukk all

What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

a blond makes out with ron every sunday and she stops every time to remember that she put the cheese in the wrong compartment brick house cheese is sad!

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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