Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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