Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Why did it die Nothing died

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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