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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

Dear Chase. You are retarded Your jokes suck Violets are red jump off a bridge

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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