Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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The government

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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