What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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9

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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modern love

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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