Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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My tractor broke down.

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Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Are you a tree

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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