What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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William wright is Gay

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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