Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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