What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Jerry.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops