Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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