Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops