What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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racism...deal with it!

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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