Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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Once upon a time

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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