Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gay Rights

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

A kid has no friends.

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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