What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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raisin boogers

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops