Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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2 + 2 = fish

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Are you a tree

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops