Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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A chicken and a horse go into a bar due to an imperative of an earlier joke, they notice that there are flowers on the bar. The flowers are red and blue. They wonder what they could be.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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