How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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thomas!!!!

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke in anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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