i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

Hillary Clinton

How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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