How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Womens' sports

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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I like your hair

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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brittney griner

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Mullets

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops