How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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There is no I in Pie except for the I

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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