So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into an abbatoir.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops